Fans, the FAN, and the Easy Way Out

"Hey Dad," Sam said to me the other day out in the yard as he swung a baseball bat. "I'm Dice-K,"

We were outside--cold weather be damned!--taking advantage of the longer days to practice a little bit for the upcoming farm league and t-ball seasons. He was waiting his turn to bat and I was pitching to his younger brother.

"That's great," I said, not bothering to mention that Daisuke Matsuzaka won't be doing a lot of batting this year. But I have to admit that I like it when Sam invokes the names of current baseball players--and other players in other sports, too, mostly Boston or New England-types. I think this role-playing gives him confidence and allows him to be more forgiving of himself when he makes a mistake. If he misses a pitch, well, it was Dice-K's fault, not his. I also like the innocence inherent in the process: no concern at all about past steroid use, out-of-wedlock kids, bad attitudes, trade demands, or bad posses gone wild. Those are what grown-ups have to worry about, and talk about again and again and again, because all-too-often, when we talk about sports, we're talking about social ills and how the whole world's going to hell in a handbasket. And if you don't believe me, just turn on your radio and wait until Jerry from Boston or Markie from Dorcester calls in to tell you how things really work.

Can you tell that I've been listening to a lot of sports talk radio lately?

When I lived in New Jersey, I spent a lot of time listening to WFAN, the huge and powerful all-sports station that's been in the news lately because of what the ignoramus Don Imus said about the Rutgers women's basketball team. At any rate, the biggest show on The FAN is the Mike and the Mad Dog show, featuring Mike Francesa and Chris Russo. I spent many afternoons listening to these guys "debate" the issues with rabid callers who'd stay on hold for hours only to be ridiculed and hung up on if they dared to disagree with the hosts. I'll admit that more than once I picked up the phone to join the conversation when one of them said something that really pissed me off, but I always resisted out of the firm belief that when you actually call into a sports radio show, you've crossed the line that separates fan-who-can-function-in-the-real-world and fanatic.

Recently I've been listening to "Sportsradio 850 WEEI" , which is the Boston-based radio station that broadcasts the Red Sox and, when they're not doing that, hosts a seemingly endless parade of shows where people call in to talk about the Red Sox. Listening to the FAN, I would occasionally feel the impulse to call in and say something. Listening to WEEI, I'm now too terrified to even admit that I do listen to anyone because I might accidentally run into some of the people who regularly call in.

I mention this because the other day I was visiting a former co-worker--and lifelong Sox fan--and I explained how this year I was rooting for the Red Sox.

"Why would you want to do that?" Was his first reaction.

"why would you want to do that?" He asked again, after I told him that I was doing it so that I could root for the same team that my kids do.

His point was that nobody actually likes being a Sox fan, and that 1) choosing to become one reeks of insanity and 2) cheerily skipping down the yellow brick road of lifelong discontent (2004 was three years ago now, you know) is irresponsible parenting.

I also detected a slight tone of revulsion that I, a Yankees Fan, would sully the Sox by rooting for them. Or trying to root for them.
But I believe that that brief exchange was a big step in this project. Up until then, I've been very closed-mouth about this project, and that just won't do. It's easy to root loudly for the Dice-K in my back yard, but I've got to avoid taking the easy way this baseball season.

And who knows, maybe it will lead to eventually picking up the phone?